Category Archives: Relationship

“Knock On Wood”

I always hear Moms at preschool, Moms at school, Moms at the doctor’s office, Moms at the stores, Moms, Moms, Moms EVERYWHERE saying positive statements about their kids and I often wonder are they struck with the same twisted fate I am….do their positive statements come back to ‘bite them in the ass’ like mine always seem to do?  Is this just another cruel joke played on us Moms or it is just another cruel joke played on me?

Now I certainly am not a person who brags.  I am proud of my children but I do not brag…I just wasn’t raised to boast and draw attention to myself or the people around me in that type of fashion.  I typically don’t comment on my children in reference to others children unless they ask.  However, it seems like any time I am having a conversation when I can say something positive about one of my children…they always prove me wrong forcing me to shove my big foot in my mouth.   These are a few of the incidences I am referring to:

Friend:  “My girls fight like cats, they hit and punch – I don’t know what to do.  Are your boys like that?”

Me:  “Well, fortunately they don’t really fight.  They don’t always get along, but I can’t really say that they get physical with each other.”

Scenario no more than 20 minutes later:  My oldest son is shoving my younger one onto the bed yelling for him to give him his Bionicle — while the little one is ready to take a bite out of the older ones arm.

Friend 2:  “I’m having such a tough time with putting the baby down at bedtime.  She just screams and cries and I can’t leave the room until I rock her to sleep.  Is your baby like that?”

Me:  “Once in a while she’s tough, but generally speaking she’s a pretty good sleeper that can put herself to sleep.”

Scenario that evening and the next weeks following:  Baby screaming constantly at bedtime.  Can’t put her down awake and have to rock her to sleep and sneak out when she’s finally drifted off.

Friend 3:  “My Tommy has been having tantrums where he’ll just scream to get what he wants and I am ready to scream myself.  Did you ever have to deal with that kind of a tantrum?”

Me:  “Well, my kids get mad, don’t get me wrong – but they really don’t have temper tantrums.  They may not like something and they let me know but not by having a tantrum.  They usually just say they don’t want to do something or they don’t like it.”

Scenario at preschool:  My child didn’t get to finish an art project in the time allotted so he threw himself down on the floor and when the teacher told him to get up he said no.

I could keep going but I’m sure you get the point.  Now, my question is why can’t I ever say anything positive about my children without them proving me wrong?  It’s gotten to the point where I have to premise every positive thing I say with, “knock on wood.”  And you know what…………I’m always knocking.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Kids, Motherhood, Relationship

The Pee In The Pot – Part II

You may have read my last post, The Pee In The Pot, this is a follow-up to my husband’s side of the story, My Aim is Perfect….I Think.

First of all, can you see why I wrote The Thin Line Between Love and Hateman-sittingI believe I stated in that post that my husband, although a wonderful person in so many ways, is also a stubborn, have-to-be right, overly confident man who can drive me to say extreme words.  This is just one case in point.

I can’t believe he uses our boys as a scapegoat for his indiscretions, publicly no less.   Do the boys sometimes miss the bowl or pee on the ring?………..absolutely (they’re BOYS).  But as my sweet, little five year old (are you reading this Hubby?— our FIVE YEAR OLD) came to tell me the other day:

“Mommy I’m sorry I made a mess, but I cleaned it up.”

Not privy (no pun intended) as to what mess he was referring to,  I said, “what mess, Honey?”

“The mess on the potty, but I took a wipe and cleaned it.”

“That’s a good boy.  Accidents happen.  Good job cleaning it up.”

Later I took a look to see how well my five year old cleaned up and I couldn’t find anything.  See, this is the way it should be with my thirty-six year old.

I believe my husband stated that if he does make a mess he cleans it up.  PLEASE!  If that is cleaning up, I’d hate to see what he considers a mess.  Generally my husband is a very neat and clean person,  so  I truly believe that he thinks it couldn’t possibly be him…..it has to be someone else.  Ladies, this is what I live with.  This characteristic of my husband infuriates me.  What he says and thinks is the way it must be.  If he thinks he didn’t do it then he didn’t do it…no discussion, that’s just the way it MUST be.  Why can’t he just say, “you know, it could be me….I’m sorry if it happens…and I’ll try to clean up if I see it.”  This would be sufficient enough to drop the debate, but no, he keeps it going by his, ‘I’m so great that I don’t make mistakes’ attitude.  I just want to scream!!!

The simple fact that he says that he doesn’t use my bathroom more now is completely absurd.  This just shows you how his sense of reality is utterly warped when something has been brought to his attention that isn’t gold.  Whenever I have any criticism, not necessarily of him, but of something that he may have done, his sense of reality makes me realize that MEN REALLY ARE FROM MARS (my man, at least).

Now, have I suggested he sit down on the pot rather than stand?  You betcha!!  If he can’t control his hose and aim a little better then all this could be easily resolved by sitting his butt down.  I don’t see it as peeing like a girl, I see it more as a way to insure that he won’t be blamed any longer for something he thinks he doesn’t do.  If it were me,  I’d do it just to prove my innocence.  Apparently his dignity is more at stake……………………….MEN!!

P.S. – The discussion has been closed.  Nothing will change, and I’ll still be steaming about it next week, but it’s done for now.

1 Comment

Filed under Relationship

The Pee In The Pot

One of the most annoying things I have to live with is threepee males that can’t keep their pee in the pot.  Although extremely irritating, it is more understandable coming from my two little guys.   They are so caught up in their  play that they don’t even really want to stop what they’re doing to pee, let alone take the time to aim in the right direction so as not to cause a flood on the floor.  The “leader of the pack,”  AKA – Daddy, however,…I hold more accountable.   He thinks he has an alibi now that he has two other males to blame his mess on…but believe me, I’m not buying it.

When I first started complaining about the pee around the bottom of the toilet (near the anchor caps) my husband was shocked that I thought it may be him.  He emphatically denied any involvement in the mysterious “pee” caper.  He quickly offered up the idea that it may be one of the boys.  Not being well educated in the male species’ peeing habits, especially little boys, I figured it was a possible explanation…but it was not going to stop me from investigating further.

We have two bathrooms, one which I immediately declared mine and one that is for all of us.  That’s not to say that I do not let anyone else use “my bathroom,” it’s just simply the place where all my “girlie” stuff resides.  My bathroom is right outside my sons’ room so it is customary for the boys to use it most of the time.  The other bathroom is on the next floor, right outside our bedroom.  My husband primarily uses the bathroom outside our bedroom.  The kids really only use this bathroom when they are getting ready for bed at night.

For the longest time I would find pee around the the anchor caps of the toilet primarily used by my husband but since the boys may have used that toilet in the evenings, during their nightly rituals, I could not definitively say that it was him.  I sure as heck brought it to his attention numerous times, but he would always use the “blame it on the kids” excuse.  Recently, due to my husband working more from home, and having his office right off  “my bathroom,” he frequents “my” toilet more often.  Guess what?  I have found pee around the anchor caps of that toilet now more often than the bathroom outside our bedroom.  What other conclusion am I to draw?  It must be HIM — “the leader of the pack”.

All this wouldn’t be such a big deal if…A) he would just admit it’s him, and B) CLEAN IT UP HIMSELF.  Cleaning a toilet in itself is at the top of my list of “most disgusting jobs that I have,” let alone if there is more disgust added to it than necessary.  Nobody likes cleaning up other people’s bodily fluids, but we Moms sign on to do that for our children…let me repeat that……..FOR OUR CHILDREN.  Now my husband, whom I do consider my fourth child at times (and this is just one of the reasons why), actually is not a child so I expect that when he pees he takes a look to discover if in fact he has “backsplashed” as he likes to admit COULD possibly happen.  If by his surprise he does discover that he in fact is the culprit then…HE SHOULD CLEAN IT UP or better yet……..JUST PEE IN THE POT!!toiletseat

This debate has been going on now for about the past three years.  This is another time that I expect my husband to READ MY MIND.  I shouldn’t have to tell him to clean up a mess if he makes one.  If he knows this is an issue, and I’ve made it abundantly clear that it is, why then does he not get a disinfectant wipe (they are sitting right next to the toilet) and clean up any mess he sees ?  I mean we all know it can’t be coming from me (it’s physically impossible),  so why am I the one who gets to clean it up?

*DISCLAIMER*  This article is based on opinions from the author and doesn’t necessarily represent facts (as per my husband).

6 Comments

Filed under Kids, Relationship

The Thin Line Between Love And Hate

They say there is a thin line between love and hate.  I guess what they mean is that both emotions are extremely Thin Line Between Love and Hatepowerful and extremely passionate.  You can passionately love someone and you can passionately hate someone.   By definition passionate means:  capable of  having, or dominated by powerful emotions; showing or expressing strong emotion; ardent; etc.  By that definition, I could say that I have a passionate, love/hate relationship with my husband.

That was the case this weekend.  How someone you love so much can bring out the strongest of “hatred” emotions is beyond me, and honestly kind of scary.  I truly love my husband.  He is a caring man, a great father, a hard worker, an honest person, a very intelligent human being, and a humorous guy who can bring me to laugh with his wit (these are just some of his attributes).  This same wonderful man I describe can also be the most stubborn, contrary, have-to-be-right man that evokes such a “rise” out of me that I say the meanest things just to retaliate against his snide comments and over-confident demeanor.  I must preface this by saying that I’m not above being aware of my own short-comings.  I know I am not easy to live with.  I do get irrational at times (most women are known to – but hey, we think with our emotions, whereas men think with….well, let’s just stop there).  Anyway, I am strong-willed and yes at times…bitchy, especially when I know what I want.

This weekend things just snow-balled, and I willingly admit that it started with me.  We were rushing to get out the door and my husband put something in the diaper bag that I didn’t want in there, when he was only trying to help (this is a time I expected him to read my mind) and I irrationally (yes, I admit it) flew off the handle.  Now I realize my behavior was totally ridiculous and my husband had every right to say something to me but for some reason it just kept escalating and finally I said, “I hate you”.  And honestly at that moment I felt that way.  How is it possible that you can have such deep loving feelings for the father of your children and turn around a few hours later ready to pounce on him like a rabid animal attacking its prey?

I’m not proud of this rush of emotions I had.  In fact I am embarrased that I, a mother, who tries to teach her children to control themselves and not hit or say mean things when they are angry acted like a child herself — a spoiled one at that.  The only way I can describe it best is that it’s like a tea kettle and the hotter it gets the more it’s going to blow.  And let me tell you, that whistle could have awakened the dead.

I certainly have to say that there truly is a thin line between love and hate.  What makes us cross the line?  I imagine it’s the intensity of the feelings.  Love/hate are both intense feelings that arouse a deep emotion that at times act the same passionate way, except….one is good for a relationship and the other one is not.  I’m hoping, as I’m sure my husband is, that the passion in our relationship doesn’t send either one of us to the hospital. 😉

4 Comments

Filed under Relationship

Read My Mind

Surely after fourteen years of marriage and three kids, my husband should know when I need his help without having to say something ——- right?  I mean, we have lived together long enough and know enough about one another to figure out when the other is going to get annoyed if one of us is lounging on the couch while the other is carrying a basket of laundry in one hand, racing to the kitchen to check on dinner.  I get so frustrated when it is so blatantly obvious that help would be appreciated while he’s off in his “own world.”

If an old woman were struggling to reach for an item on the shelf at the grocery store my husband would help her.  Me?….the woman who carried three of his children, the person who takes care of everyone else…..me, he is totally oblivious to.   To hear his side, he would say, “I can’t read your mind, I don’t know when you need my help unless you ask for it.”  Okay, here’s where that argument is weak.  Yes, he cannot read my mind but he knows me well enough and we’ve had the same argument often enough to know when I need help.  It’s pretty simple, if he’s sitting down on the couch or leisurely surfing the net and I’m doing work of some sort around the house……..guess what?—- I NEED HIS HELP!!  I’m not that much of a mystery.

When he has brought home a lot of work and looks stressed out about it I offer to help him.  I don’t need him to ask me…I offer, without having to read his mind.  Now, mind you, he never takes me up on it but I am willing if he did.   If one of our boys were trying to put together a Lego kit my husband would undoubtedly ask him how it was going……….meaning “do you need help?”  This he would do without reading minds but just by knowing his kids.  Why then is he “unable” to do the same thing for his wife?  Let’s look at that……….hhhhmmmm, could it be that putting together a Lego kit is fun to him, while getting his butt off the couch to help with laundry and dinner is NOT fun to him?  Is it really about not knowing when I need help or is it more about what he would rather be doing at the time?…………I wonder.

I don’t want it to sound like I don’t appreciate my husband.  That’s not the case at all.  I know he helps out much more than the average guy.   He is willing to help out wherever he is needed, but…… I HAVE TO ASK.  It’s the times that I have to ask (when it’s pretty obvious) and the times  he totally misses the boat that infuriate me because we are a team and we are supposed to be working together…………and frankly, by now, we are supposed to be able to read each others mind.

*DISCLAIMER*  This article is based on opinions from the author and doesn’t necessarily represent facts (as per my husband).

3 Comments

Filed under Relationship